It's almost every traveler's dream to be walking along some foreign road and to bump into a local or fellow traveler. In our minds, the world would stop the chaos of the culture around you will be calm as you look into each other's eyes and fall in love at first sight.
This won't happen most likely even if you do happen to meet a handsome hunk overseas. Although, it can feel something like that... once I met my man it just felt perfect, he felt perfect. It was like I knew him my whole life and he was my best friend. It was crazy to think that my other half was literally on the other side of the world and if I wouldn't have decided to make that trip,
I would have never met him.
Of course, everyone's goal when they met their foreign friend would be to spend forever with them. the time when you're on your on vacation, spending time with them, letting them be your tour guide, IS the absolute best! When your out of your comfort zone and vulnerable you show a side of yourself that most people don't see, and honestly, that you might not even know about it. This is when you tend to fall in love the easiest and you let people in your life. so it makes sense that people met people while traveling, but it is not for eve
ryone. You have to be tough to face what comes along with the handsome man and accent. Finding the love of your life isn't as majestic as we might hope it to be. There are so many struggles!
Struggle Number One: long distance
When I had to say goodbye to my boyfriend it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Not knowing exactly when I could see him again was the fear. And even though we had an idea of when I could come again the fear of leaving him behind, and him letting me go led to so many things to worry about. Trust had to be the number one thing to keep us together. I had to hold on to the memories we had during the time we had together. Thankfully we live in the 21st century and we have facetime and WhatsApp so we are able to talk often, but the time difference is still tricky! The best way to fight this struggle of long-distance is, to be honest with each other, talk about your day's plans, set times to facetime, and look forward to the time you will have together again. (SIDE Note: If you happen to have a change of plans because of a virus infecting the whole world and can't see your partner because flights are canceled you can still get through it because I am!)
Struggle number 2: Culture differences
Oh my, this is a big one! when you decide to be in a serious relationship with someone from another country you have to expect to do a lot of compromising! Each culture has its own ways of viewing the roles of each person in a relationship. some cultures expect women to be submissive, some expect you to be open to a lot of things and more liberal in your way of dating. Sometimes you have to meet the parents before you can even begin to date. also, you probably will have a different type of wedding than what you have always dreamed about. there are too many cultures in the world to discuss all the different conflicts that could come up because of cultural differences. But a few things to do to stay strong when these differences arise is to talk about things before you get serious; or as soon as you can! Ask silly questions about the future and what you both expect, ask questions like "how involved will our families be in our relationship, can we have pets when we live together, what time are you used to eating dinner, and so many more". You can google questions to ask and it will be very beneficial! Make a facetime date out of asking each other questions! Another way to make sure cultural differences don't get in the way of your love is to just be open and honest about everything upfront! even little things that you might not think are important might be important to your partner because of their culture.
Struggle Number 3: visas
have i ever mentioned how much I don't like borders? I realize its important to have them for protection, but my goodness... If your partner is from a country that isn't in the best standing with the county you live in, visas are going to become your worse nightmare. when I want to visit my partner, I have to apply online and once I have been accepted and once I have been denied (I think I was denied because of the COVID-19 virus, but still so annoying!). my fiance isn't allowed even a visitor visa to my country without a very clear reason. if we tell my country we are together he will be denied because they will assume that we try and get married. visas make things so complicated honestly. they can make you question everything in your relationship; if it is really worth being together. It makes you wonder why you wouldn't just be with someone else who lives near you. with patience and time you will eventually be together if it is meant to be. things will fall into place. you just have to learn to be flexible and go with the flow. if you are always uptight and stressed about visas and the process to see each other then it's going to affect your relationship. always be honest with how you feel with your partner but don't let it affect you and get you down.
you have to be strong to find love overseas. you must truly love the person you are with and be 100% dedicated to each other or it is not going to last. the struggles listed here (and there are more than what's listed) are either going to make or break your relationship. no, finding love overseas isn't as great as books and movies make it out to be. it comes with so much struggle and hard work. you have to fight every day for what you want. let me tell you though, the reward of spending the rest of your life with your best friend is so worth it. having that person, even if they are 3,000 miles away, knowing that they will be there for you to talk to makes everything better that is why you do it. That's what makes all these struggles worth going through.
This kind of love isn't for the faint-hearted. it will be the hardest thing you ever do.. but in the end, if you both stay strong it will be worth it all!
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